Why are new things often so challenging for us?
I am getting things lined up for a new endeavor, trying to get my ducks in a row before I kick things off so that the ride will have as few bumps as possible. I woke up early to have a little extra time to work on a few things for the project. When I came into my study and turned on the little desk lamp, the bulb blew. It’s a weird size and we usually don’t keep spares for it. And I don’t like having the big overhead light on. Well, at least until I wake up a little.
The more I think things through, the more I realize how many other things could go wrong. I feel like a mountain climber looking at a towering peak wondering if he’s got what it takes to make it to the top.
There is risk involved because I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.
I have to admit that even though I really am a new creation, I still have some messed up thinking patterns. Truth be told I am still pretty much a skeptic. Steve Pavlina suggests I should kill my skepticism.
He makes a good point.
I said it the other day. Before the event desirable outcomes are just as possible as undesirable ones. So in theory I could chose to expect the desirable outcomes rather than the undesirable ones.
Really what it boils down to is fear. Fear is a toxic paralyzing force that keeps us from moving forward. They say that courage isn’t the absence of fear but rather continuing on in spite of the fear. And I don’t disagree with that.
But one of the surest ways to be rid of fear is to have a firm understanding of what to expect. When you are in a team environment that plays itself out in the trust that is built up with your teammates, knowing they will do their part when the time comes.
If I fear moving forward it could be because I don’t really completely trust the God who I feel is moving me in that direction. John said it this way
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
It could be that deep down I still have some lingering fear that God is not trustworthy, that He might be setting me up to fail. Because I think I deserve to fail then God must be planning to give me what I deserve.
Don’t get me wrong, it is completely twisted thinking. I know that. But those are some of the thoughts I’ve had this morning.
My desire is to get to the top of that mountain. And not just to say that I made it, either. I sincerely want to be in a position to help other folks get up there too. I think my motivations are along the right lines even if my thought patterns still need a lot of work.
Funny. As I was working through all this and typing this out just now the desk lamp came back on. By itself. Coincidence? Some might say so and then offer up scientific explanations about how the bulb really hadn’t blown or there is a loose connection somewhere, blah, blah, blah.
But I think God decided to communicate with me in a way that would be uniquely crystal clear to me.
“Keep going, son. You’re on the right mountain path this time.”
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